He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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