it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
