So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
