it wasn't lemon gatorade
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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