she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
