she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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