____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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