Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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