Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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