ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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