just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
