You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
