You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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