So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
