No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
