her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
