i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
