Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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