Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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