Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
