The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
