So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
