Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
