If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
