God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
