in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
