I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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