ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My vagina just clenched in fear
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
