I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
