You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You ate ashes out of my bong
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
