how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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