Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
