is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
