so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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