Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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