I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Buhtt sex?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
