you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
And then he peed in my hair
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