U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
