her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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