If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
