He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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