Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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