My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Alive.
So much puke
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
