P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
