Sponge bath it is.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
