oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
