once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
