I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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