so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize