Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
