I need help removing her.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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