I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
