Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
