ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
