I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
