Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
