I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
