Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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