God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
