I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
