i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
