while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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