We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
