Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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