Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
