we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize
