they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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