What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize